The Colbert Report/Episode/549
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro Obama's 100th Day * applause is refreshing ** usually the only standing ovation he gets is from his camera men * Obama's 100th day * got exactly what he wanted ** an adorable new Senator *** may be housebroken * one of his accomplishments ** world tour of make-out sessions with America's enemies: *** Venzuela's Chavez *** China's Hu *** Saudi Arabia's King Abdulluh * Obama may have too much influence ** necktie denier Mahmoud Ahmadin-wecomefromthelandoficeandsnow-ejad revealed his re-election campaign slogan *** not a horse French kissing the Loch Ness Monster *** it is Farsi for "we canhttp://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/apr/28/iran-election-admadinejhad-slogan-obama" * Obama stole it from the Empire Canning Company of Syracuse, New York * Obama should have anticipated that Mahmoud was going to copy him and picked a different slogan ** like "Yes We Can Stop Enriching Uranium And Give Up Our Nuclear Program" I's On Edjukashun * it's no secret public school teach kids all the wrong values ** Dr. Colbert suggests home schooling, but who has a home these days * Stephen Colbert's I's On Edjukashun ** not accredited to teach for the state of New York *** if he spanks you; it's recreational * History ** text books have a liberal bias *** read from left to right ** text books force students to read; should be in the title * pregnancy test of textbook ** go to index and check the "Ronald Reagan" pages * Pop Quiz ** Which statement reveals a liberal bias? *** they all do * Civics ** Obama signed Serve America Act *** provide more classroom volunteers for schools ** Ingraham mentioned "education centers" * Pop Quiz ** if you have 75000 AmeriCorp volunteers * Students' Rights ** officials stripped a 13-year-old student *** Afterschool Specials are instructive and based on a true story ** people stuck things in Breyer's underwear (mostly singles) *** if he really shook it, he'd get a fiver ** Scalia * Pop Quiz ** slang term for marijuana *** Correct answer: the cops are on the way; you better flush it Swine Flu * everyone's talking about the swine flu ** the CDC has released boring information * FOX knows better and is spreading ratings-sensitive ** the new Black Death ** SARS is so 2 years ago * Enemy Swine:A Pigcalypse Now: The Coming Oink Maggedon * WHO Pierre LaSuerr(sp) ** the virus whisperer *** he's sick * Webcam questions from The Colbert Report Inbox ** Enzyt might not cure swine flu, your johnson will be so mammoth you won't care ** wear a surgical mask with a mouth hole * earliest symptoms is tasting like bacon ** if you suspect someone is infected *** scrap it off on the nearest * Susan Boyle has swine flu * Swine flu feeds on our fear ** follow the rational advice of experts * if we don't we'll be doomed ** excessive calmness may be a symptom of swine flu Interview * David Kessler ** book: "The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite" * former FDA Commission who believes Americans eat too much, looks like someone's getting kicked out of the * he is fascinated by the book ** by fascinated he means enraged * manifest destiny is unbridled appetite * why control appetite * he believes in evolution * Americans must have a layer of fat in case of a famine * more people die of obesity than all infectious diseases and terrorism * Bin Laden is behind Dr. Colbert's Fry Daddy * behavioral pattern ** excessive exposure of sugar, fat and salt * Christmas popcorn tins * in the pocket of Big someone * he used to be a fat, fat the water rat * the only way to lose weight ** new learning: rehab *** Dr. Colbert says, "No, no, no!" Epilogue * Dr. Colbert reminds The Heroes not to forget to brush our teeth before we go to bed. That includes our feet teeth. Gallery Image: Image: File:SCI'sOnEdjukshun.jpg Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments